What If You Were the Trustee?

By Dan Felix

The recent news surrounding Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s estate has had me thinking about the deceased celebrity’s complex estate situation from a different perspective.

Not as a commentator on the family’s private circumstances - not as someone interested in second-guessing anyone involved.

But as a trustee.

What if you had been named Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s successor trustee instead of his mother?

Public reporting indicates that Warner created his family trust in 1996, long before he married and became a father. His mother, Pamela Warner, is now serving as successor trustee. According to reports about a pending lawsuit, his widow, Tenisha Warner, has said that he intended to update his decades-old estate plan but died before doing so. The lawsuit also raises questions about financial obligations under their premarital agreement.

There is a great deal we do not know—and should not pretend to know—about this family, their relationships, or their planning decisions. But the facts that have been reported point to a familiar problem: life changes faster than many estate plans do.

Marriage. Children. New financial commitments. Changed priorities. Important conversations that are postponed because life is busy, because the planning feels complicated, or because no one wants to confront the consequences of inaction.

That is where the question of trustee preparedness becomes especially important.

 If you were serving as successor trustee for someone you knew had married, become a parent, and made commitments that might need to be addressed in their planning, would those changes have become part of your ongoing conversations?

Would you have encouraged them to call their estate-planning attorney? Would you have reminded them that an estate plan should reflect their current life, not merely the life they were living when the documents were first signed?

And if they continued to delay, what then?

Would you offer to make the call? Help coordinate a meeting with the attorney? Ask whether other members of the advisory team—the accountant, financial advisor, insurance professional, or family-office team—should be included.

At some point might you conclude that, while you are willing to serve as trustee someday, you are not willing to sit quietly by while the person creates an avoidable mess for the very people they say they love?

These are not easy questions. Nor do they have one universal answer.

A trustee should not take control of a client’s life. A trustee does not replace an attorney, financial advisor, therapist, or family member. And ultimately, every capable adult has the right to make—or postpone—their own decisions.

But a trustee who is engaged, informed, and willing to have difficult conversations can be part of a family’s preparedness.

That is one of the values of an independent professional trustee relationship. The work can begin long before a trust needs to be administered. It can mean getting to know the client, understanding their family structure and priorities, staying appropriately connected with the advisory team, and noticing when major life events call for renewed attention.

 It also means being clear about boundaries.

A professional trustee cannot force someone to update a plan. But they can raise the question. They can encourage follow-through. They can say, respectfully: “This may be your decision, but it is important enough that it should not simply drift.”

 For families, this story also raises a broader question: when you name someone as trustee, are you asking only whether they are trustworthy?

Trustworthiness matters, of course. But it is not the whole job.

The role may require judgment, organization, communication, emotional steadiness, comfort with financial and legal professionals, and the willingness to navigate conflict when family members have different expectations. A well-intentioned sibling, friend, or relative may be the right choice. But affection and loyalty alone do not make someone prepared for the work.

A durable estate plan needs more than documents. It needs people who understand their responsibilities, are prepared to serve, and are empowered to speak up when life no longer matches the plan.

A plan sitting in a drawer can only do so much. The real question is whether the people around you are equipped to help ensure that your planning remains current, usable, and aligned with the life you are living now.

I will explore these issues in Estate Planning for Real Life, a CrossGen Collective and Wisdom in Wealth session with In Three Generations on Wednesday, November 18, at 11:00 a.m. Central Time. We will consider practical questions about trustees, beneficiaries, family communication, and the emotional realities that can arise when a plan becomes active.

Daniel P. Felix is The Professional Trustee and a Master Trustee designee of the Independent Trustee Alliance. He helps families navigate trust administration and prepare trustees, beneficiaries, and families for the practical and human realities of estate planning.